It comes to no surprise that when relationships end, some feelings are retained. This blog was inspired by a conversation I had with an ex-flame some weeks ago.

Consider this, after a few months/years of not talking to each other, you finally got the closure you sought to deal with the unwanted feelings you had held on to. Now suddenly you are faced with them again. Some with feelings, often do the same mistake, fall & fix the broken peices. Or there are others who are bewildered & left for laughter. I'd classify myself as the latter.

Have you ever fallen for someone so much that you accepted anything & everything they did, as long as it didn't get to breaking & abusive point, of course. That when you were in the relationship with them, years/months ago you were able to deal with their annoying little habits, you didn't care less what they said or did, you had no shame for their lifestyle & proclivities. You accepted them for everything they were in the hopes that everything will turn out as a happy ending.

So when I reaquainted myself with this particular one I had thought that I was still attracted to him, faintly attracted. Let me explain ..

There were certain qualities that he possessed that I adored, heck that's why I entered the relationship in the first place, no attraction & chemistry, no relationship - simple maths. Then there were other qualities about him that I loved. One's that weren't real.

Everyone won't agree to it, but we pose such qualities on people, dreaming of who we want them to be - unrealistic of course, but once we break up with them, these fake characteristics inevitably keep us from letting go. We dream the impossible, that one day they will suddenly transform into our perfect soul mate.

What we fail to remember is that it's all make believe. It's isn't really him. Whatever feelings I still retained weren't for him.

This epiphany came to me in a dream one fine lazy afternoon, when his face had suddenly changed. I suddenly realized that I wasn't still holding onto him, because, all this time I wasn't daydreaming about him. The boy who I dreamt about may have had his face & some of his qualities, but the rest of it was someone who I made up.

I'm over the thought of wanting to be with him, I'm over wanting him & now I've come to realise that all this time I was over him.

Through life we live through relationships that die. But just because they failed doesn't mean we can't learn & take something from that experience. I learned that I really liked certain qualities about him, & I'd like those qualities to be in someone who I could fall in love with all over again.

It comes as a surprise that all this time, after we ended, I didn't have any feelings, it comes as a surprise that I haven't been crying over you, it comes as a surprise that I wasn't dreaming & wishing for you, but someone who I never had, someone who I haven't even met, someone who I made up.

It comes to no surprise that when relationships end, some feelings are retained. This blog was inspired by a conversation I had with an ex-flame some weeks ago.

Consider this, after a few months/years of not talking to each other, you finally got the closure you sought to deal with the unwanted feelings you had held on to. Now suddenly you are faced with them again. Some with feelings, often do the same mistake, fall & fix the broken peices. Or there are others who are bewildered & left for laughter. I'd classify myself as the latter.

Have you ever fallen for someone so much that you accepted anything & everything they did, as long as it didn't get to breaking & abusive point, of course. That when you were in the relationship with them, years/months ago you were able to deal with their annoying little habits, you didn't care less what they said or did, you had no shame for their lifestyle & proclivities. You accepted them for everything they were in the hopes that everything will turn out as a happy ending.

So when I reaquainted myself with this particular one I had thought that I was still attracted to him, faintly attracted. Let me explain ..

There were certain qualities that he possessed that I adored, heck that's why I entered the relationship in the first place, no attraction & chemistry, no relationship - simple maths. Then there were other qualities about him that I loved. One's that weren't real.

Everyone won't agree to it, but we pose such qualities on people, dreaming of who we want them to be - unrealistic of course, but once we break up with them, these fake characteristics inevitably keep us from letting go. We dream the impossible, that one day they will suddenly transform into our perfect soul mate.

What we fail to remember is that it's all make believe. It's isn't really him. Whatever feelings I still retained weren't for him.

This epiphany came to me in a dream one fine lazy afternoon, when his face had suddenly changed. I suddenly realized that I wasn't still holding onto him, because, all this time I wasn't daydreaming about him. The boy who I dreamt about may have had his face & some of his qualities, but the rest of it was someone who I made up.

I'm over the thought of wanting to be with him, I'm over wanting him & now I've come to realise that all this time I was over him.

Through life we live through relationships that die. But just because they failed doesn't mean we can't learn & take something from that experience. I learned that I really liked certain qualities about him, & I'd like those qualities to be in someone who I could fall in love with all over again.

It comes as a surprise that all this time, after we ended, I didn't have any feelings, it comes as a surprise that I haven't been crying over you, it comes as a surprise that I wasn't dreaming & wishing for you, but someone who I never had, someone who I haven't even met, someone who I made up.

As you've guessed, my name is Thea which is greek for goddess. I'm a seventeen year old, who currently attends Macquarie University studying B-Comm accounting.

I was born on the eighteenth day of April 1990, which makes me a firey Aries and born in the year of the Horse, who has a love for diamonds and romance.

I am an only child which explains the abnormal behaviour I promulgate. Throughout the years I've learned how to entertain myself without turning into a complete psychopath. Unfortunately, I dislike the spoilt brat cliche I'm often imposed with. I don't consider myself a snob, who is obsessed with materialistic highs. Although I admit I can be a brat .. sometimes, especially when you push the wrong buttons.

I'd assume if you met me, you'd think I'm very much angelic, quiet & bubbly. Only the last would probably be true. I'd say I have split personalities, not only split but multiple! One day I could be tearing your head off, the next I'd be showering you with hugs & kisses. But one thing is certain, whatever my mood, I'll express it with my face & actions. I'm often told that I have mature thoughts, & that only applies sometimes as I'm a kid at heart.

My hair is naturally brown, so please don't annoy me by asking what colour dye I use. My father being spanish explains why an Asian like me doesn't have charcoal black hair. I was born and raised for four years in the Philippines until my family migrated to Australia.

Being asian has its quirks, such as having the ability to outrun anything, having a super fast metabolism, believing in the supernatural and being tiny enough to fit into small crevices. Or maybe the last aberration only applies to me, I'm what you would call 'petite.'

I follow the Catholic religion, so you'd probably see me attending church every Sunday morning or night and reading the bible for inspirational quotes on how to live my life. But this doesn't mean I'm perfect, I do of course have flaws.

You'll see me prowling around the area with mainly boys. Boys are genuine & don't usually obsess about useless gossips. I enjoy being one of the boys. Playing sports, being immature and immersing myself in obscure activities, which in most cases are illegal, absolutely hilarious and extremely fun!

Yes, I'm an athletic type. I'll be up for anything! Throughout my years, the sports that I have competed in have been Basketball, Indoor Soccer & Swimming.

Not only do I enjoy playing, but I love watching sports. What girl can resist hot, sweaty boys? With their big muscular arms and athletic body. Rugby does it for me! & those basketball & soccer players - oh damn.

I'm currently content with being single. I'm not looking for anything temporary, & I'm not really keen in looking or testing out the waters. But you know what they say, you think you know what you want .. but you really haven't a clue. If you're really something amazing, you may sweep me off my feet without me or you even knowing.

I have issues with technology, as I believe they killed any prospects of romance. Then again it could just be the boys of my generation that don't seem to have the romantic gene. Old fashioned dates is something I want revived!

Reading beautiful prose is what I live for. I'm what you would call a book nerd and I'm a sucker for Romance novels. Although a hearty laugh is what I love. Books allow me to escape into a realm on contentment, which my life usually lacks.

Throughout my life, I've met a few bad eggs, so don't hate if I have trust issues. I also have a habit of twisting your words to suit my frame of mind. It takes someone special to beat me at my mind games. My advise, give up & let me win, you'll do me & yourself a favour.

Feel privilaged if I call you a friend. This does not include if you are someone on my MSN list or if I have accepted you on myspace. But once you're in my little network of 'true friends' you'll be showered with love & appreciation. You'll also get an earful of how great I am & how lucky you are to have someone sexy like me in your life!

I'm going to end with the best thing to do in the world! & that is eating. It's my favourite thing to do! Food is the most beautiful thing on this whole entire planet. It never disappoints! More likely than not you'll find me chewing, if not, i'll have a bag of treats secretly stashed.